VANTAGE POINTS

12 September 1994

A while ago I was flying in the plane on my way to the MACS (Marine Corps Air Station) at Tustin, California I looked down upon the earth from 35000 feet.  Things of men were so small that only the largest of buildings were obvious.  When looking at a super highway it would have been difficult to pick out a semi truck.  Indeed, I never saw one.  If a person, like say Jesus, was standing in the middle of an intersection you might know in your mind he was there but you could not possibly see him.  Then let your eye wander over the rest of the earth that you could see.  The smallness of that place  where Jesus is becomes astounding.


Yet through such a means (a human body) God saved the world.  Think of God living in one human body.  Compare to John 1:14 . . . and the Word became flesh and dwelt among men . . .


The vantage point of the plane demonstrates the expansiveness of God's comprehension.  He comprehends what the human eye in the plane sees . . . and every thing else.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY POSTINGS

The following blogs, down to the one titled "Buster and The Toilet" (posted 11-16-2015), were taken from an autobiography I intended to write. Upon reflection I don't believe anyone except my immediate family would really be interested in an autobiography about me. So I put them here, which is as close as they ever will get to the public.

The only new post in this series from November 16 2015 to date is titled "Zacchaeus" (posted 11-22-2015).

MAY 2012 MEMORY LOSS-6

MEMORY LOSS
[[This blog, and several following, have to do with memory loss events apparently due to "brain freezes".  All took place before my one-and-only seizure. ]]

An entry in FaceBook that is not repeated here elsewhere:

"And it's even better than that. I seems Tamra had a graduation party on Saturday, and I was there. Well, my body was there. Maybe I drove off without my memory. I didn't make a fool of myself, did I? I have no inkling that anything is "slipping", as far as I know.

"How I know about the party came from a Facebook invitation to Tamra's party, dated last week. Well, the party may be gone, but Tamra is not. PapaJ loves you girl, and your sisters and Mom and Dad."
5/23/2012

MAY 2012 MEMORY LOSS-5

MEMORY LOSS
[[This blog, and several following, have to do with memory loss events apparently due to "brain freezes". All took place before my one-and-only seizure. ]]
An email to Gordon Anderson: "Gorden, It turns out I could have made our coffee time tomorrow. My other appointment has been pushed off to another day (the 29th).

"I believe I have told you about my 'brain freezes', a peculiar feeling I have been getting for the last 4 to 6 months, about one set of episodes a month. I loose some memory when they happen.

"The following is how I described it on FaceBook: 'Ever loose almost a whole day? I went to church Sunday, sung in the choir, ate the picnic lunch . . . and I don't remember any of it. It's like it never happened! It's just not there in my memory. This sucks!

" 'But I'm not going to think of it as "gone". I'm going to think of it as there, but unattached. Somehow the path to that block of memory got broken. I'm going to believe that someday I will "find" the memories. I'm certainly not going to mope around, "Oh woe is me! woe is me!" I'm going to believe I'll get them back! Being negative and "down" will not help.

" 'Scary, and nothing to do about it. Later that day (Sunday) Lizzie tells me I had a hot dog while I was there. I remember eating a hot dog, but nothing else (yet). Where did it (the memory) go? What else is gone? How would I know what is gone? What can I do?

" 'I should struggle against it, yes, but to obsess would do more damage. The hot dog is my anchor for that day. I'm glad I have a more sure anchor within the veil . . . . '

" 'I don't remember anything about the Dream Builders Breakfast (you can see why). I don't believe I'll go. We can either keep the original time, 1100am, or make it a later time. You say when. (The original time was 1100am Thursdays, wasn't it? Do I have that right? -- I'm now gun shy about times.)' "

[[ Dec 5, 2015: Those memories still have not come back. I now believe they are forever gone.]]

5/23/2012

MAY 2012 MEMORY LOSS-4

MEMORY LOSS
[[This blog, and several following, have to do with memory loss events apparently due to "brain freezes". All took place before my one-and-only seizure. ]]
Another email from Lizzie to the Kids: "Dearest Children: Dad is having some serious memory loss tonight. It began (as far as I know) at 8:30 pm this evening. He has had another at 11:30; not remembering what we did all evening. He is very sad; was sad at the afternoon picnic and it has continued. Please pray for him. I am not sure how long it will go on, (as is usual). I love him and we will seek the Lord in this."
5/20/2012

MAY 2012 MEMORY LOSS-3

MEMORY LOSS
[[This blog, and several following, have to do with memory loss events apparently due to "brain freezes". All took place before my one-and-only seizure. ]]
Another email from Lizzie to the children: "Dear Children; A small group which we have joined from Ascension anointed Dad with oil and prayed fervently for him; we are quieted and encouraged. Five phone calls were on the answering machine from when we got home. We have landed. I feel that we have been searching for this group of believers and found our place in the Body of Christ. It's hard to describe, but I feel good, welcome, accepted. Even with Eric's episodes, they seem to take it in stride and treat us like a loving family. Praise be to God.

"Eric's MRI is scheduled for early tomorrow. Though I don't know when we will have results, we will surely tell you as soon as we know.

"Coldwater Creek has asked me to stay as a permanent part time. They know about Eric's situation. Funny timing in my estimation for this opening to come along; Eric was so happy for me he teared up. I'll try for this as long as he is safe and OK here at home (or better yet, is out and about on his usual independent way). We love you so much; we can't tell you how grateful we are for your calls, advice and our sense of your being nearby."
5/21/2012

MAY 2012 MEMORY LOSS-2

MEMORY LOSS
[[This blog, the one following, have to do with memory loss events apparently due to "brain freezes". All took place before my one-and-only seizure. ]]
This is what Lizzie wrote Bob Johnson: "Bob, Eric has had a serious memory loss episode. It began Sunday evening. Today, on Monday, when I returned from work it was severe. He has had episodes off and on for 3 or 4 years, but comes out of them after several hours and is back to normal. Doctors, after extensive testing, tell us there is no dementia or Alzheimer's. They are mystified. Eric would like to come as you requested, but he is concerned because the episode has never been this severe. He enjoys your music and leadership very much. Hopefully this hard time for him will pass."
5/21/2012

MAY 2012 MEMORY LOSS-1

MEMORY LOSS
[[This blog, and several above this one, have to do with memory loss events apparently due to "brain freezes". All took place before my one-and-only seizure. ]]

This Is what Lizzy wrote to the kids toward the end of the memory loss episode:

"Dearest Children: Dad's memory loss is severe this time. I want you to know about him today so that you can advise me if you think of anything, and know of his welfare.

"The episodes began 8:30 pm Sunday, and they went on through the night. This morning we had coffee and devotions and he was aware and coherent. But when I got home from work at 4:15 today his memory loss was severe. Evidently he had slept on the couch the whole time I was gone from 10:40 am to 4:15 pm. He doesn't remember anything from yesterday: (it was a special day at church, etc., where we sang in the choir and a picnic after).

"So I need wisdom: not to be as a "mother" but to know what decisions (if I should make them) will be for his best. We have an appointment at his primary care doctor tomorrow AM.

"You all seem to have different and thoughtful advice when we ask. If you sense I should be doing or thinking in a way you think is good, please tell me."
5/21/2012

SELF PROCLAIMED TITLES

TBD
I was thinking about titles. There are a lot of titles we can apply to ourselves:

- Husband
- Father
- Grandfather
- Son
- Brother
- Uncle
- Taxpayer
- Civil Servent
- Military Man
- Radioman
- Student
- Logistics Manager
- Government Representative
- Education Specialist
- Customer
- Assistant to the Author
- Website Manager or Webmaster
- Blogger
-
6/7/2012

SOFTWARE WORK

LESSONS LEARNED
What need am I filling when I write VBA or transfer information from one file type to another file type? I Want:
-- to unlock the information.
-- to manipulate the information.
-- to make a tedious task easy
-- to discover something from the information that no one else has seen
-- or to get it before anyone else does.
-- to be a purveyor of information.
-- to be a source of correct information.

None of the above seems to be connected to the actual content of the information; I just want to get it, convert it, shape it, present it.

NEEDS

LESSONS LEARNED

What are my real needs?
-- Food, air, water, shelter
-- to be wanted.
-- to be respected.
-- to have a purpose. 

And the following, which are the most important, but so often left off the list and out of the thinking:
-- to please God.
-- to hear God.

WHO MAKES THE MONEY

LESSONS LEARNED
Once years ago, as I was having a severe fit of depression and self pity, I tried to identify why some people made lots of money:
-- They have a skill others want and not many have: Electricians, AC men, IT men, etc.
-- They have knowledge or special education not many have: Doctors , Lawyers, etc.
-- They are entrepreneurs that employ and pay others. (they get their own salary plus the company profit.)
-- They are in commissioned work.
-- They invent something or write something and earn royalties.
-- They Manufacture a product.
-- Their parents were wealthy.
-- They are a part of a self serving club: Educators, Politicians, Anthropologists, etc.
-- They steal.
-- They have experience that others have a use for: Logistics Managers, Travel Guides, etc.

DO WHAT YOU LOVE

LESSONS LEARNED
What would I do if I could do anything I want?

-- Build my Garage furniture, jigs
-- Build furniture, useful articles
-- Play "acoustic" jazz with really good musicians.
-- Do art: painting, ceramics, photography ...
-- Assemble things, like a training device.
-- Write VBA code that someone else besides me will find useful.
-- Write Python code to manipulate my stuff, interface with WORD and EXCEL documents
-- Use Office products in ways others are not (or can not) so the information they contain reaches the highest potential.
-- Travel to Paris, London, Italy, Germany. Maybe Spain, Sweden (where my Grandfather came from).

DO THE JOB YOU ARE PAID FOR

LESSONS LEARNED
When I was working for Mr. Watts I started as a helper to Gary Bowles, an air conditioning installer. One day I was standing in the warehouse. Gary was crouched down working on something. Mr. Watts (the boss), Jerry (the supervisor) and I were watching Gary. Mr. Watts looked at Gary, he looked at me, looked at Gary, looked at me and said (with an acid voice) "Help Him!" Immediately I realized I was not doing the job I was hired to do: be a helper. That meant was I was supposed to look for ways to do that job, to look for ways to help. My job wasn't that I was supposed to wait around, idle, until I was told what to do.

Since then that very important lesson has served me well the rest of my life. Unlike most other people, if you look for some way to make yourself useful you will show yourself to be a valuable person.

SPENDING TIME TO SAVE TIME

LESSONS LEARNED
Sometimes you can spend a lot of time doing a thing that on it's face seems wasteful, but will save much time and effort later. I have spent lots of time learning about Microsoft Office software and Visual Basic for Applications software. Many times the skills I have learned enabled to do my job faster and better later on. I spent two hours and saved eight -- and the work was of better quality. The skills also enabled me to do tasks that the others around me could not do. Just the understanding and software I developed to compare two different lists equipped me to finish an analysis in five minutes that would take another several hours to complete if they did it "by-hand". I have enabled myself to analyze items that would be too complicated or tedious or lengthy for others to do.

YOU WILL DIE

CANCER
When I was sick Tania and Josh gave me a book in which to write my experiences with the cancer. Although I wrote some, I regret I did not write much. One of the biggest is the realization that you can eat right and exercise right but you can still get cancer. Another is that death is inevitable. Something like cancer can make you grasp the reality of it. I always knew I was going to die. Cancer brings the realization you can die tomorrow.

If I was to die immediately there would be events, relationships and situations I had left undone. Perhaps I would have to stand red-faced at an interrogation desk just on the other side of THE DOOR.

Being yet on this side of THE DOOR, however, begs me to think, "What events relationships and situations should I be engaging in now?"

As I am writing this it makes TV and movies seem less important.

GOOD BOYS

OBSERVATIONS
One thing I am thankful for is the boys that God has given me. Others seem to have received drug-ridden, drinking, philandering, excess-spending, non-working, lazy, foul-mouthed sorts -- but not me. God has given me men I am proud of

IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU, IT'S ABOUT HER

FAMILY
Liz sometimes undergoes a situation that it comes to the forefront of our existence, like writing the book or facing a challenge with her relationship to her family. When the boys were younger that happened with them too.

I sometimes wonder,

"Is my position and purpose on earth only to be a support to Liz and the boys? Is there no task that is assigned to me alone? Am I only a servant for this? Are Liz and the boys more important than I?"

At times like that I can apply Standard Answer Number One and think about what Jesus did. God clothed himself in flesh and came to earth to die for MY sin, raise himself up again, send the Holy Spirit and involve himself in MY life so much as I will let him.

What does the think of himself when he is doing this? Does he wish to be of more significance? I think he does want to be significant, but he allows us to make the final decision about how much significance we give him. Then I think, how CAN I be any different? His direct statement is, ". . .not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think. . ."(Rom 12:3).

And so what! What if that (care of my family) is the only purpose I have: "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might . . ."(Ecc 9:10). So I should do it with all my might.

When It's all "over" for me, only the people last.

That is an important thought: Only the people last.

LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH

MARRIAGE
After several months into my marriage I noticed that you have to adapt to the woman you live with. This woman -- the one you married -- is not the one you thought you were marrying. She resembles her, but now you see new dimensions of which you were not aware at the time of the courting and early days of marriage.

What you have to do is to adapt to this woman, because this is the one with whom you MUST "become one flesh" (Gen 2:24) (Mat 19:5) (Mk 10:8) (Eph 5:31). Maybe you would not have preferred her to be this way, but that's the way she is. You can learn to rearrange your interactions with her to accommodate her needs and desires. Indeed, you must do that.

You can fearfully think, "what if she does not think about who I actually am? What if she remains selfish? What if she refuses to stand on her own two feet?"

Sorry, that does not matter: you must do what is in YOUR power to do. You can act for yourself, you can not act for others. What others do is their responsibility before God.

You first exercise your responsibility to God, then you exercise your responsibilities to others.

You are not, after all, an Iron-Fisted Mug, neither are you a Push-Me-Over. If you are either: shame on you.

I LOVED BAND

TEENAGER
I loved band. Band was my salvation. Band was an organization I could belong to that not a lot of other people could. In band I could do stuff others could not do. In my time I was the best drummer Mr Toland (the band director) had. And I wasn't proud about it; I would help the other drummers however I could. I didn't try to play ""King Of The Mountain"" with my position. Others could play trumpet and clarenet but they could not do the drums. Others could play drums, but not as well as I. 5/30/2012