For some reason the other night, I remembered the time a teacher, Mrs. Griffin, said to my mother that I “had a flare for writing”. I did with that statement as I have done with so many other similar affirming statements about me: I blew it off. I said to my self, “she's just saying that to flatter. She doesn't really mean it. She's saying what she wishes, not what is.”
Once I remembered that event I said “Why do I always disallow or minimize the good things that are said about me?” It is a bad habit. I ought rather to appreciate the positive things. I ought to try to own them and build on them. I ought to improve myself in the way that is spoken to me. I ought to believe that I am “that way” and that I can do “that”.
I am tempted to doubt, to say “What if I am not 'that'?” Well, if I'm not “that” I won't be able to do “it”.
But it is more honorable to endeavor to become “it” while trying, hoping and being positive. How can it be honorable by never starting the thing because I think “What if I'm not”? How can it be honorable never try 100% and only give 75%? 50%? 5%?
[[ Lord please help me to put away from me my disbelief in myself. Please help me to appropriate the “good works which you have before ordained that I should walk in them” Help me to recognize the “goodness and mercy which shall follow me all the days of my life.” After all I am dwelling “in the house of the Lord forever”. How bad can that be - - rather, how excellent that is. ]]
