MAY 2012 MEMORY LOSS-1

MEMORY LOSS
[[This blog, and several above this one, have to do with memory loss events apparently due to "brain freezes". All took place before my one-and-only seizure. ]]

This Is what Lizzy wrote to the kids toward the end of the memory loss episode:

"Dearest Children: Dad's memory loss is severe this time. I want you to know about him today so that you can advise me if you think of anything, and know of his welfare.

"The episodes began 8:30 pm Sunday, and they went on through the night. This morning we had coffee and devotions and he was aware and coherent. But when I got home from work at 4:15 today his memory loss was severe. Evidently he had slept on the couch the whole time I was gone from 10:40 am to 4:15 pm. He doesn't remember anything from yesterday: (it was a special day at church, etc., where we sang in the choir and a picnic after).

"So I need wisdom: not to be as a "mother" but to know what decisions (if I should make them) will be for his best. We have an appointment at his primary care doctor tomorrow AM.

"You all seem to have different and thoughtful advice when we ask. If you sense I should be doing or thinking in a way you think is good, please tell me."
5/21/2012

SELF PROCLAIMED TITLES

TBD
I was thinking about titles. There are a lot of titles we can apply to ourselves:

- Husband
- Father
- Grandfather
- Son
- Brother
- Uncle
- Taxpayer
- Civil Servent
- Military Man
- Radioman
- Student
- Logistics Manager
- Government Representative
- Education Specialist
- Customer
- Assistant to the Author
- Website Manager or Webmaster
- Blogger
-
6/7/2012

SOFTWARE WORK

LESSONS LEARNED
What need am I filling when I write VBA or transfer information from one file type to another file type? I Want:
-- to unlock the information.
-- to manipulate the information.
-- to make a tedious task easy
-- to discover something from the information that no one else has seen
-- or to get it before anyone else does.
-- to be a purveyor of information.
-- to be a source of correct information.

None of the above seems to be connected to the actual content of the information; I just want to get it, convert it, shape it, present it.

NEEDS

LESSONS LEARNED

What are my real needs?
-- Food, air, water, shelter
-- to be wanted.
-- to be respected.
-- to have a purpose. 

And the following, which are the most important, but so often left off the list and out of the thinking:
-- to please God.
-- to hear God.

WHO MAKES THE MONEY

LESSONS LEARNED
Once years ago, as I was having a severe fit of depression and self pity, I tried to identify why some people made lots of money:
-- They have a skill others want and not many have: Electricians, AC men, IT men, etc.
-- They have knowledge or special education not many have: Doctors , Lawyers, etc.
-- They are entrepreneurs that employ and pay others. (they get their own salary plus the company profit.)
-- They are in commissioned work.
-- They invent something or write something and earn royalties.
-- They Manufacture a product.
-- Their parents were wealthy.
-- They are a part of a self serving club: Educators, Politicians, Anthropologists, etc.
-- They steal.
-- They have experience that others have a use for: Logistics Managers, Travel Guides, etc.

DO WHAT YOU LOVE

LESSONS LEARNED
What would I do if I could do anything I want?

-- Build my Garage furniture, jigs
-- Build furniture, useful articles
-- Play "acoustic" jazz with really good musicians.
-- Do art: painting, ceramics, photography ...
-- Assemble things, like a training device.
-- Write VBA code that someone else besides me will find useful.
-- Write Python code to manipulate my stuff, interface with WORD and EXCEL documents
-- Use Office products in ways others are not (or can not) so the information they contain reaches the highest potential.
-- Travel to Paris, London, Italy, Germany. Maybe Spain, Sweden (where my Grandfather came from).

DO THE JOB YOU ARE PAID FOR

LESSONS LEARNED
When I was working for Mr. Watts I started as a helper to Gary Bowles, an air conditioning installer. One day I was standing in the warehouse. Gary was crouched down working on something. Mr. Watts (the boss), Jerry (the supervisor) and I were watching Gary. Mr. Watts looked at Gary, he looked at me, looked at Gary, looked at me and said (with an acid voice) "Help Him!" Immediately I realized I was not doing the job I was hired to do: be a helper. That meant was I was supposed to look for ways to do that job, to look for ways to help. My job wasn't that I was supposed to wait around, idle, until I was told what to do.

Since then that very important lesson has served me well the rest of my life. Unlike most other people, if you look for some way to make yourself useful you will show yourself to be a valuable person.

SPENDING TIME TO SAVE TIME

LESSONS LEARNED
Sometimes you can spend a lot of time doing a thing that on it's face seems wasteful, but will save much time and effort later. I have spent lots of time learning about Microsoft Office software and Visual Basic for Applications software. Many times the skills I have learned enabled to do my job faster and better later on. I spent two hours and saved eight -- and the work was of better quality. The skills also enabled me to do tasks that the others around me could not do. Just the understanding and software I developed to compare two different lists equipped me to finish an analysis in five minutes that would take another several hours to complete if they did it "by-hand". I have enabled myself to analyze items that would be too complicated or tedious or lengthy for others to do.

YOU WILL DIE

CANCER
When I was sick Tania and Josh gave me a book in which to write my experiences with the cancer. Although I wrote some, I regret I did not write much. One of the biggest is the realization that you can eat right and exercise right but you can still get cancer. Another is that death is inevitable. Something like cancer can make you grasp the reality of it. I always knew I was going to die. Cancer brings the realization you can die tomorrow.

If I was to die immediately there would be events, relationships and situations I had left undone. Perhaps I would have to stand red-faced at an interrogation desk just on the other side of THE DOOR.

Being yet on this side of THE DOOR, however, begs me to think, "What events relationships and situations should I be engaging in now?"

As I am writing this it makes TV and movies seem less important.

GOOD BOYS

OBSERVATIONS
One thing I am thankful for is the boys that God has given me. Others seem to have received drug-ridden, drinking, philandering, excess-spending, non-working, lazy, foul-mouthed sorts -- but not me. God has given me men I am proud of

IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU, IT'S ABOUT HER

FAMILY
Liz sometimes undergoes a situation that it comes to the forefront of our existence, like writing the book or facing a challenge with her relationship to her family. When the boys were younger that happened with them too.

I sometimes wonder,

"Is my position and purpose on earth only to be a support to Liz and the boys? Is there no task that is assigned to me alone? Am I only a servant for this? Are Liz and the boys more important than I?"

At times like that I can apply Standard Answer Number One and think about what Jesus did. God clothed himself in flesh and came to earth to die for MY sin, raise himself up again, send the Holy Spirit and involve himself in MY life so much as I will let him.

What does the think of himself when he is doing this? Does he wish to be of more significance? I think he does want to be significant, but he allows us to make the final decision about how much significance we give him. Then I think, how CAN I be any different? His direct statement is, ". . .not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think. . ."(Rom 12:3).

And so what! What if that (care of my family) is the only purpose I have: "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might . . ."(Ecc 9:10). So I should do it with all my might.

When It's all "over" for me, only the people last.

That is an important thought: Only the people last.

LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH

MARRIAGE
After several months into my marriage I noticed that you have to adapt to the woman you live with. This woman -- the one you married -- is not the one you thought you were marrying. She resembles her, but now you see new dimensions of which you were not aware at the time of the courting and early days of marriage.

What you have to do is to adapt to this woman, because this is the one with whom you MUST "become one flesh" (Gen 2:24) (Mat 19:5) (Mk 10:8) (Eph 5:31). Maybe you would not have preferred her to be this way, but that's the way she is. You can learn to rearrange your interactions with her to accommodate her needs and desires. Indeed, you must do that.

You can fearfully think, "what if she does not think about who I actually am? What if she remains selfish? What if she refuses to stand on her own two feet?"

Sorry, that does not matter: you must do what is in YOUR power to do. You can act for yourself, you can not act for others. What others do is their responsibility before God.

You first exercise your responsibility to God, then you exercise your responsibilities to others.

You are not, after all, an Iron-Fisted Mug, neither are you a Push-Me-Over. If you are either: shame on you.

I LOVED BAND

TEENAGER
I loved band. Band was my salvation. Band was an organization I could belong to that not a lot of other people could. In band I could do stuff others could not do. In my time I was the best drummer Mr Toland (the band director) had. And I wasn't proud about it; I would help the other drummers however I could. I didn't try to play ""King Of The Mountain"" with my position. Others could play trumpet and clarenet but they could not do the drums. Others could play drums, but not as well as I. 5/30/2012

I HATED HIGH SCHOOL

TEENAGER
High School was an unpleasent time of my life. Except for band I didn't fit into any special group. I wasn't one of the tough guys, the bullies. I wasn't a sports guy. (Although I did run on the crosscountry team -- ANYONE could get on the crosscountry team. I rhink I must have joined because I thought I ought to be in a sport; the "all boys do" sort of thing). I wasn't one of the smart people, nor was I a dunce. I wasn't one of the vocational people and I didn't feel I was college material.

I was girl-crazy. What a waste of time that was! I stayed girl-crazy to a point way too late in life. If I could only could have channeled that energy toward more productive activities and toward more worthy people.
5/30/2012

BEING BULLIED

TEENAGER
For some reason I was easy to bully. I don't know why, I just seemed to draw it on myself. Maybe I didn't look like I would fight back. In fact, I would not have fought back because I didn't believe I should. I think the origin of that attitude would have been my Mother's teaching, it wouldn't have been my father's. (I don't remember any teaching from my father except, "don't join the armed forces", which, as you know, I did.)

I did not believe, and still don't believe, that brute force or intimidation should be used when some other way is possible.

One day I offended Billy Collins. I was a hallway monitor at the high school and made him walk around me the way I made everyone walk around me. My job was to make sure all walked around me on the proper side. Billy didn't want to do it. I said if he didn't I would report him. He told me he would see me outside after school, and he did. Billy met me and pushed me around right at the front entrance of the school. He tried to get me to swing at him so he could have a brawl, I suppose. I would not fight him. A whole crowd gathered around, boys and girls. Everyone watched, no one did anything except Billy Collins who punched me a couple of times. Billy and his tough boy friends were amused by the affair. I suppose the others were amused too.

I don't know how to think about this. Why should I even allow Billy a place in my memory?

As it was then, so it is now, that my deliverance comes not from strong-arming the Billy Collins's but by relying on the deliverance of the Lord. For I am indeed weak, but He (the Lord) is strong.

A couple years later I picked up Billy as he was hitch-hiking home. By this time he was in the Coat Guard and he was in uniform. He accepted the ride, but even then I don't think he was happy about it.
6/5/2012

ZACCHAEUS

Most people think of Zacchaeus was a thief and a scoundrel because he was a Publican. Most thought the all Publicans (the tax collectors) treated people unfairly. Maybe not. Many sermons I've heard portray him as a scoundrel. The assumption is repeated multiple times so that it seems to become "true". No one seems to question it.

While many others may have been scoundrels, perhaps Zacchaeus was not. Is every IRS employee bad? Are all government contractors bad?

Zacchaeus said to Jesus he would pay back four-fold IF HE HAD CHEATED ANYONE (emphasis mine). But Maybe he didn't have to pay back four fold because he did not cheat or overcharge people. Maybe he, unlike some others , did not abuse his authority. Maybe Zacchaeus said that openly in front of the crowd knowing no one could honestly claim to have been cheated.

Just because a class of people are assumed to be bad does not mean every member of the class is bad.

WORKING WITH DAD

BOYHOOD
I never felt close to my father, neither did I ever see that he expressed any affection toward me. He did, however, let me hang out with him when he did anything. He never showed annoyence and he never chased me away. When I needed help, like the time I had taken the front end of my car all apart, he would help me. He would Stay as long as it took.

ABOUT CHILDREN

CHILDHOOD
I think children can understand more than adults think they can. I think I could grasp the general content of what my mother was talking about. I remember her talking on the phone and she kept saying "my husband". I remember what she said was not very flattering of him.

BABY CARRIAGE

CHILDHOOD
I remember being rolled uptown in a baby carriage by my mother. Mrs. Lameroux stopped my mother to talk to her. She wanted to look inside the carriage. She looked in at me and seemed to be a little surprised. I think I must have been a little older and wanted my mother to treat me like a baby and get wheeled in the carriage. Hence, when Mrs. Lameraux looked in, she saw someone a little older than she was expecting. Or maybe my memory goes back that far and I was actually a baby.

PAUL McKENNA

CHILDHOOD
Paul McKenna was the only other kid my age that lived in my neighborhood. There was something wrong with Paul. Sometimes he would stand, do a sort of running-in-place, shake his hands and make funny guttural noises. I don't really remember, but I don't think he was mentally all there. He had the potential for being the butt of all sorts of cruel jokes. But my Mother told me, "You need to be careful with people like, Paul. They can not help who or what they are. Even if other people are bad to him you can not be. You have to stand up for Paul if he needs it."

I hope I didn't hurt Paul, but being a kid I'll bet I did.

I'm sorry, Paul.
5/11/2012

BILLY NOREN

CHILDHOOD
When I lived at 65 South Street I was friends with a kid diagonally accross the road. His name was Billy Noren. My Mother didn't like him much, but I did. Anyway, he was the only kid around I had to play with. I was too young to play with my brothers. They, and their friends, did not want to play with me. Once I was annoying David my brother and one of the Webber boys by following them around. They saw a chance for freedom. They gave me one end of a rope and told me to hold the other end. They started pulling me. They approached and entered the thicket of a very large lilac bush. What fun! I followed them right along. I was just about to enter the thicket myself when the tension on the rope stopped. I started to pull on it myself; I was going to be the leader now. It didn't take long to figure out the boys at the other end had disappeared.

So Billy was around and I played with him.
5/11/2012

BUSTER AND THE TOILET

[[ I ran across a bunch of old files that I had been putting together as part of an autobiography. I decided to post them here since it's easier than actually trying to think of something to write. Some have dates associated with them shown at the end of the items that had them. I don't remember what the date actually reflects; It doesn't appear to do with the actual date of authorship. ]]

CHILDHOOD
Buster, our mongrel dog, would come with us to our vacations to Maine. The house we rented on the island was on a wooded hill beside a river. This river was tidal, meaning that the water went toward the sea when the tide was going out, and went inland when the tide was coming in. Conditions were primitive for us and the neighbors. There was no running water. That meant that as well as using a hand pump to get water we also had to use either a privy outside, or a chemical toilet inside. Most used chemical toilets. When they got full the neighbors and we would empty them into the river when the tide was going out. Buster loved to swim. From time to time he would run down the hill and swim in the toilet effluent. That was bad enough. When he was through he would run back up the hill, stand close to anyone who was handy and shake himself, the way dogs do. We would watch him run up the hill knowing what he intended to do. We would point our finger at him and say (or yell), “Don't you do it Buster! Don't!” He didn't seem to understand. And he would do it.
5/17/2012

JOB APPLICATION WORDS

I wonder if any company could bear to write a job description for a position they want to fill without using the following words or phrases:

State of the art
World-class
Excellent
Exemplary
Highly engaged
Dedicated
Best possible
High quality.

While all this is nice, or even preferred, I'll bet the business world will keep on functioning when their job applicants lack most of these qualities.

BULLIES

There seem to be four groups of people: the Bullies, the Beautiful People (which would include the athletes), the Smart People, and All The Rest Of Us. If you take the fourth group, the rest of us, away, the only group that would suffer would be the Bullies because then they would have no one to bully.

The best thing that could happen would be the bullies would chew themselves up to oblivion.

Among some of the Beautiful People there may bully-like tendencies. Some, after all, are more beautiful or athletically skilled than the rest of us and want us to know and all about it.

Some Smart People really want all others to understand they are smarter and will attempt to demonstrate it.

Bullies are left-over Neanderthals who, because of their poorly developed and distorted sense of self-worth, feel they must force another to be under them.

USELESS OLD AGE

I recently have heard a statement similar to this:  "The older should step aside to allow the younger to fill his vacancy".  This suggests that older people mature into incompetence and raises several questions in my mind.  Am I in someone's way?  What process am I obstructing?  Is there a specific age where I crystallize into this obstruction?  At what age is the person of younger age being frustrated? 

If, in the past, I have been in the way it would have been nice to have been told.

If I am now in the way it would be nice to be told.

CHURCH MUSIC

Sometimes I find myself annoyed at church music which leads me to attempt the following definitions:
-- "Music leading":  Singer(s) performing the exact melody (note the phrase "exact melody") expected of the people being lead.
-- "Solo":  Lone singer singing melody with decorations as he/she feels inspired.  There is no expectation of leading the listeners while this is done.
-- "Dixieland":  An ensemble of 3 – 5 instruments simultaneously performing solo improvisations of the melody.  Note: Dixieland will always at least once clearly state the melody with all instruments in harmony.  This is done before the section using improvisation.
-- "Mess":  A group of singers, perhaps mixed with instruments, all improvising a melody together.
-- "Awful Mess": A group of singers, perhaps mixed with instruments, all improvising a melody together some out of tune.
-- "Dreadfully Awful Mess": A group of singers, perhaps mixed with instruments, all improvising a melody together all out of tune.

THERE IS EITHER MALE OR FEMALE

Here is a quote from Melissa Atkins Wardy as seen on Upworthy.com,  "There is no 'boy side' or 'girl side' to childhood," she told Upworthy, noting gender stereotypes can hinder a child's development by limiting their experiences. "Why would we tell a kid they can't like cars or pirates or fairies or pink?  . . ."

There is most definitely a "boy side" or "girl side" to childhood.  I would never want my male child or grandchild to have any confusion about his sex (operative words, "sex" and "he").  It would be no big deal to me if he liked the color pink, or green for that matter.

I would never want my female child or grandchild to have any confusion about her sex (operative words, "sex" and "she").  Incidentally my granddaughters less than six years old do like to play with the toy cars.  My older granddaughters actually drive real cars.

Physical hermaphrodites are extremely rare.  They are the only ones where the "girl side" or "boy side" issue may be confusing.

Most children are either MALE or FEMALE.  There is actually no shame in identifying yourself, or your child, as a MALE or FEMALE.  Nearly all adults and children know the difference. 

There is really no need to be afraid to tell a girl she is a girl, or a boy that he is a boy.

REPORT CARD

I saw three minutes of a PBS show where some rural Chinese parents had left their home to earn money to send back to the family.  Upon their return the first thing they wanted to see was the report card of their child.  The first thing they said was, "You were fifth in your class; why didn't you do better?"  I immediately felt sad and turned off the show.

What should have been the first emotion?  Should not it have been a gladness to see the child after being away?  They wanted the child to succeed (I suppose) but was their child's success only a token for their own success?  Was the only purpose of the child's existence to please the parents?

If I was the child I would have the deep feeling that no matter what I did it would never be good enough for my parents.  I would never really succeed.  Where do you suppose these feeling would lead?

I wonder what feelings the parents of the last place child had?

YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK

Here is a quote from Sidney Madwed, an American author:

"Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives."

To be fair I do not know the context of this quote, but what is it really saying?
Is the thinking that is going on in our subconscious - - that has no humor, cannot distinguish real and imagined, that may not know the difference between thought or image - - always going to manifest in our lives?  Do we have no control? 

Is the “subconscious” real, or an idea, a concept?  If we are not aware of it, how do we know if it really exists - - just because some say that it does?  What really happens before an idea can be sensed enough to express it - - to put it into words, or to draw a picture of it?  And once we can express the idea then do we not have control of it?

I think once we can express it we have control over it.  Therefore we can apply humor to it and tell the difference between it and reality.  Unless we are mentally ill we always have control over our thoughts and actions.  We have a large degree of control of what we know.

The “subconscious” is a blame-boy that’s too easy to use.

WARTIME

I was in the Vietnam War.  I went for two reasons: 1) I always wanted to sail on a big ship and 2) I would have been drafted and I wanted to serve in the Navy rather than on land or air.  I became a radioman on an Oiler, the USS Ponchatoula.  Our job was to refuel other ships off the coast of Vietnam.  These ships included aircraft carriers from which planes flew to bomb the Vietcong.  We operated day and night.  At night the planes would fly with their running lights on, dive down and drop the bombs.  You could see the flashes and a few seconds hear the boom-boom-boom.

I liked being in the Navy and liked the job I did.  I did not drop the bombs, but without my ship (and therefore me) the rest of the fleet could not conduct operations.  I was not, and am not, sorry for my Navy time.

When I got out I never talked with anyone about my Navy time because it appeared that most people did not support the war or our government’s participation in it.  It didn’t seem as if people believed this war accomplished what other wars have, like WWII, Afghanistan and Iraq.  I felt I would have little respect from most people for having been part of the military in the Vietnam era.

I am proud of, and thankful for, our men and women in the military.  I believe their work is keeping me and my family reasonably safe.

REALIZE YOUR BLESSINGS

I am realizing I am a blessed man this morning.

• I have a faithful (and faith-filled), loving, loyal wife.
• I have productive, upright sons who are high quality family men.
• I have no trouble paying all my bills, and no reason to think I might not become unable.
• I have survived colon cancer and am presently in good health.
• I am benefiting from a good education and good life-long work experiences.
• I live in a fine neighborhood and have peaceful neighbors.
• I live in the USA and benefit from it’s history, laws and traditions.
• But fundamental to all: I know who Jesus Christ is and what he has done for me and the world, and know what he will yet do. 

There are many other things I could also list.

MAN-IN-THE-MIDDLE

If you will notice, the Bible describes many times where God wants to directly use someone or to directly speak to someone yet the person (or group of people) want someone else between them and God, or them and the task.  You can see an early example of this in Exodus 4 where God wants Moses to speak to Pharaoh yet Moses begs off because he thinks he won’t be good enough for the task.  So instead of what God really wants, Moses to speak directly to Pharaoh, we end up with a man-in-the-middle:  Moses speaks to Aaron who speaks to Pharaoh.  Notice how Moses resists God:

"Exo 4:10  And Moses said unto the LORD, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.
11  And the LORD said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD?
12  Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.
13  And he said, O my Lord, send, I pray thee, by the hand of him whom thou wilt send.
14  And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Moses, and he said, Is not Aaron the Levite thy brother? I know that he can speak well. And also, behold, he cometh forth to meet thee: and when he seeth thee, he will be glad in his heart.
15  And thou shalt speak unto him, and put words in his mouth: and I will be with thy mouth, and with his mouth, and will teach you what ye shall do.
16  And he shall be thy spokesman unto the people: and he shall be, even he shall be to thee instead of a mouth, and thou shalt be to him instead of God."


Another - - and sadder - - example is in Exodus 20 when God would have spoken directly to the people but they want Moses to hear what God has to say and come back and tell them.  Instead of the people hearing directly from God they make Moses the man-in-the-middle.

"Exo 20:18  And all the people saw the thunderings, and the lightnings, and the noise of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking: and when the people saw it, they removed, and stood afar off.
19  And they said unto Moses, Speak thou with us, and we will hear: but let not God speak with us, lest we die."

This is what we tend to do in the Church; instead of listening to God ourselves - - through reading the Bible or prayer - - we put a man-in-the-middle.  We depend on the priest or pastor or rabbi, or a certain denomination or sect.  It seems easier to let someone else think for you than to think for yourself.  Other people are important to listen to - - and we should listen to others - - but we should not depend on others to be the-man-in-the-middle between us and God.

THE GRANDFATHER

As I was sitting on the front porch this morning a man pulled up in a black Mustang with a rumbling engine and dark opaque windows.  Who could be inside this car?  Was this a drug dealer?  Was his hair thick and black and combed back in greasy neat rows?  Did he have on a sports jacket concealing a .45 caliber?  Was he wearing sunglasses and did he have a smirk on his face?  What was he here for and who was he going to see?

Would it end well for the one he would visit?

Then - - -

The driver's door opened.  A grandfather got out to bring the forgotten lunch to his granddaughter at the school across the street.

BUY AMERICAN

Buy American.  Bring manufacturing back to our shores.

Avoid things that are made in China.  That does not mean you should throw out your iPhones and computers.  Sometimes you will not be able to find items that are not "made in China".  But many times you can make a choice .  So look on the labels and avoid "made in China" when you can.

If enough of us do this, and the months and  years pass, we will bring our manufacturing base back to this country.

I AM ALLOWED TO SAY, "THE BIBLE SAYS"

If I say, “the Bible says . . .” I am not shutting down conversation. I am simply stating something about which the Bible makes a statement. The hearer is allowed to disagree with any statement I, or the Bible, make. And I am also allowed to disagree with any statement he may make. I will not be troubled if the hearer thinks I am a fool or somehow less intelligent.

We all must have some ultimate authority upon which we base our beliefs. While some may choose to rely on the many various man-made theories, I choose to believe the Bible is the ultimate authority. It speaks for itself.

If “context is really important” for us to understand or interpret the Bible, whose context are we accepting? Are we relying on the Bible, or are we relying on many opinions of disparate groups of people (churchmen and humanists alike).

I look at the Grand Canyon and say, “Here evidence of a world wide, catastrophic, hydrologic event.” Some others say, “Here is evidence of millions of years of lying down of sediment, followed by other millions of years of the carving away of a channel by the Colorado River. If the Bible says God created the earth (and everything else) is six days I believe it.

TO BE, OR NOT TO BE . . .

Neighborhoods these days build walls facing the main street going by them.  When there is a neighborhood on each side of the road it  has the appearance of driving down a canyon; there is no view, nothing to see.  For this reason I hate these walls.

If I lived by a busy street I would like a wall there to keep out street noise.  Also it would be safer to keep children from wandering into danger, and to keep unwanted people from wondering onto your property.  For this reason I like these walls.

Since I don't live by a busy street I hate these walls.  If I did, I would like these walls.

". . . HE WILL BE KING . . ."

Americans know not the concept of “king” or “aristocracy” except as defined in a dictionary. They don’t have the experiences connected with these words as some European Nations have. We did away with all that garbage at the Revolution.

Though they would not use those words, a few of the rich and some politicians like the concepts of “king” and “aristocracy”. If they actually publicly used those words we would be aware of their intentions and prevent them from implementing that kind of government. Some large Corporations like the concept of absolute control too. Therefore we also have to be vigilant against their establishing similar types of domination.

God is the only entity worthy - - and capable - - of being a perfect King. Some earthly kings have sought power at the expense of their subjects. In contrast, God has all power by his very nature, and exercises that power for the benefit of his subjects.

TIME WELL SPENT??

As I do crosswords I keep track of clue answers that could fill the numbers of squares that the answer requires. Many times I find there could be two or more words that will both answer the clue and exactly fill the squares.  I mark these sets of words on the bottom of each crossword I complete and later transfer them into a spreadsheet.  If the set of words contains two words (like “melt” and “thaw) I enter two rows on the spreadsheet.  One row will have “melt” in the first column and “thaw” in the second column.  The next row will have “thaw” in the first column and “melt” in the second column.  A set of three words will take three rows.

Over the years I have built up the list to 1456 rows.  There are 1276 sets of entries.  42 rows have six columns per row (7 sets of six words).  Many rows have only two columns filled (2 sets of two words).

Here is an example from the list:

WORD 1    WORD 2    WORD 3    WORD 4    WORD 5
Abase    Abuse    Shame      
Abide    Allow          
Ablaze    Aflame          
Abode    House          
Abuse    Shame    Abase      
Accosted    Ambushed          
Ace    One    Pro    Win  
Ache    Pain    Pang    Sore    Hurt

MAYBE IT'S MY FAULT AFTER ALL

With respect to LOUD CHURCH MUSIC:  it my be my fault.  See the two quotes I ran into below:

"Tinnitus could be the result of the brain’s neural circuits trying to adapt to the loss of sensory hair cells by turning up the sensitivity to sound. This would explain why some people with tinnitus are oversensitive to loud noise."

"Noise-induced hearing loss, the result of damage to the sensory hair cells of the inner ear, is one of the most common causes of tinnitus. Anything you can do to limit your exposure to loud noise - - by moving away from the sound, turning down the volume, or wearing earplugs or earmuffs - - will help prevent tinnitus or keep it from getting worse."

So it looks like I still must avoid (what seems to me) LOUD MUSIC.

ROCK-CONCERT-LOUD

Yesterday we had yet another church experience.  The church we tried had ROCK-CONCERT-LOUD music.  We tried four (that’s 4) churches the Sunday before and they each had ROCK-CONCERT-LOUD music.  We also tried a church where the music was not too loud, and the message was reasonably good, but we know the people there.  We know they disapprove of what we do - - have a glass of wine in the evening, and perhaps a glass of beer when we dine out.

So in many churches you can not have contemporary music and must refrain from alcohol, even though there is no danger of becoming an alcoholic.  And in many others you can have contemporary music IF you are willing to damage yourself, that is your sense of hearing.

I’ll add another comment:  I have never found that Rock-and-Roll or Jazz music had driven me to illicit sex, or to drugs, or to drinking, or to terrorist actions, or even to disobeying my Mother.

LOUD ALL OVER

Last Sunday (that is the last Sunday after the previous last Sunday I wrote about before: so, I am  speaking about the latest last Sunday) (the most recent one, not the one before; that is, the last last one) we went to three churches in a row and all of them had music that was too loud.  I really wonder if there a church we can go to.

This music is so loud that the congregations can not possibly hear either themselves or those next to them sing.  What then is the point of congregational singing if the congregation can not hear themselves?  Is not the singing portion of the service for the congregation to sing?  In this atmosphere of loudness the congregation does not sing.  Let us not kid ourselves, these events are not events of congregational participation, but events of performer-audience.  The performers act and the audience listens.

(or plugs their ears).

HEARING AND THE AUDIO MAN

Last Sunday we went to a church that was meeting in a school.  As we walked in the people there were very friendly and welcoming.  The only problem was the music was too loud, even in the foyer.  They very courteously tried to usher us in but even with my hearing aids turned off the music was way too loud.  We turned and left.

We will never know if the preaching was good, if it was true to the Bible, if it would have made us more effective in our Christian life.  We will never know if there were good and lasting friends to meet there.  We will never have the opportunity to contribute our knowledge built up over 41 years of a faithful Christian marriage.  We will never be able to participate in the music.  We will never be able to encourage the believers there to read the Bible every day as we have done all our married life.  We will miss any encouragement there may have been there for us, or the new lessons we needed to learn.

All this because the music was too loud.  No one in that congregation could have heard themselves singing the songs or heard others around them singing.  Some would have been discouraged from singing.

I would have liked to attend a small church with contemporary music, even if they never sang the old hymns or even owned hymn books.  I like up-beat music.  I like rock-and-roll.  I grew up on rock-and-roll.  I like jazz too.  The radio in my car would never be tuned to a classical station; classical music is OK, I just do not prefer it.

But the volume of the music at that church will never be turned down.  That’s because the audio guys like it that way.  They like it loud.  They can stand it either because they are already deaf, or because they are wearing earphones and are not effected by it.  They control the volume, not the musicians, singers or the pastor.  He who turns the dial has the power.

And the congregation there must like it too because they stay.

Some might say, “Just get over it and learn to be immersed in the experience.”  I wear hearing aids because I have poor hearing.  I have had poor hearing all my life.  I have spent six thousand dollars on hearing aids just so I can hear somewhat better yet I still struggle to hear.  I refuse to allow some audio-jockey to bore out my ears and destroy what hearing I have left.

Someone said, “If it’s too loud, you’re too old.”  I guess I am.

TAMING SOFTWARE

The only effective way to approach software:

LEADING FROM THE BACK

In some blog I got to somehow the timpanist of a major orchestra spoke of his responsibility as “leading from the back”

Having played in orchestras I would never dare say the percussion “leads from the back”.  The conductor leads.  Even in Big Band work the percussion does not lead, he (she) is part of the ensemble - - part of a group that is lead.  In Big Band work the leader is often not the drummer.  It’s the leader, or conductor, who decides the timing and tenor of the musical piece to be played.  The drummer (or percussionist) never “leads from the back” (unless he’s Buddy Rich, Gene Krupa or Ginger Baker).

Tell the conductor you are “leading from the back” and you will be “leaving out the back” (door).

It took me long enough to draw this; just another way Facebook sucks away time!

THE OLD SELF DOUBT

For some reason the other night, I remembered the time a teacher, Mrs. Griffin, said to my mother that I “had a flare for writing”.  I did with that statement as I have done with so many other similar affirming statements about me:  I blew it off.  I said to my self, “she's just saying that to flatter. She doesn't really mean it. She's saying what she wishes, not what is.”

Once I remembered that event I said “Why do I always disallow or minimize the good things that are said about me?”  It is a bad habit.  I ought rather to appreciate the positive things.  I ought to try to own them and build on them.  I ought to improve myself in the way that is spoken to me.  I ought to believe that I am “that way” and that I can do “that”.

I am tempted to doubt, to say “What if I am not 'that'?”  Well, if I'm not “that” I won't be able to do “it”.

But it is more honorable to endeavor to become “it” while trying, hoping and being positive.  How can it be honorable by never starting the thing because I think “What if I'm not”?  How can it be honorable never try 100% and only give 75%? 50%? 5%?

[[ Lord please help me to put away from me my disbelief in myself.  Please help me to appropriate the “good works which you have before ordained that I should walk in them”  Help me to recognize the “goodness and mercy which shall follow me all the days of my life.”  After all I am dwelling “in the house of the Lord forever”.  How bad can that be - - rather, how excellent that is. ]]

MOTORS AND ANCHORS

Here is a quote from a man named Wayland (I suppose the person is a man, my having only the last name) . . . "There are two types of people - anchors and motors. You want to loose the anchors and get with the motors because the motors are going somewhere and they’re having fun. The anchors will just drag you down."

This quote is either good or ridiculous depending on the assumptions you bring to it.

Wayland here seems to think anchors are bad; they are preventing you from making progress toward a goal you want to achieve. But I think of anchors as safety devices. Anchors keep your boat from drifting to places you don’t want to go, like going aground.

Wayland seems to think motors are good; they are powering you toward a positive goal. But motors do not always take you to the right places. There are some motors I do not want in my life. I do not want the motors of hateful, negative thinking. I do not want motors that drive me to buy things I do not need.

Yes an anchor can be a hindrance if you throw it overboard at the wrong time or place, but why would you? If you needed to leave your boat offshore in a river, or in a cove near the seashore, would it be OK with you for it to drift with the current or tide? If you habitually sailed near the brink of Niagara Falls would you choose the boat without an anchor?

Yes a motor provides the impetus, the power, to get somewhere; but where is the “somewhere” and how do you need to arrive there? If you need to go forward is it OK for you to use a motor that runs only in reverse? What about a motor that only goes forward and never runs in reverse? I do not paddle my Ford Explorer to the store with a canoe paddle. Neither could I use 200 horsepower V-6 in my canoe. Different motors are for different purposes. The world could have done without the motors that drove Nazi Germany, but we needed the motors that eventually won the war.

People are not only anchors, and they are not only motors; they can be both anchors and motors. It’s up to you to choose where and when to use an anchor just as it’s up to you to choose what type of motor you need for your situation. Choose the right motor; choose the right boat; don't forget your anchor.

ANGRY OVER NOTHING

I was sitting on the porch this morning when two professionally dressed cyclists rode by - - the kind dressed in all the fashionable cycling wear and helmets. As they rode buy one dropped behind the other and moved toward the curb to make room for an on-coming automobile. I thought to myself, "what if that guy decided not to move over?" I wondered, "What if that guy was thinking, 'I am going to keep my lawful place on the road, I'm not going to move for anybody; to hell with anyone who thinks I should move for them!' " I imagined that man as having a confrontational, sour attitude. I almost put myself in a sour, confrontational mood just thinking about it.

But the thing is: I don't have a clue what that guy was thinking. You can't know what anyone's attitude is if they don't speak to you, or by communicating in some other way (as in writing or with a gesture). You don't know what you are not told and there is very little point in trying to imagine what you don't know -- at least in a case like this.

I could have put myself in a sour frame of mind over something that never happened.

How often do we do that?

WHY NOT?

In our family (Lizzie and I) the domination of women is not an issue. I never thought it was right for me to dominate my Wife/Partner/Friend. I don't associate with, nor care to associate with, any person who advocates the abject submission of women, or even the general submission of women.

It makes me sad that some men and some groups push domination of women. Some men take advantage of their strength and force-of-will. Some cultures promote subservience of women as the natural order of the human condition. Why is this so? I believe for many it's simply a case of: “That's the way it's always been done.” It's passed of from Father to Son and from the culture to the men.

Why did I not grow up thinking dominance was my right? I believe it's because my Mother was an intelligent woman who knew right from wrong and saw it as her duty to pass this knowledge to her children. She required her children to act accordingly in her presence. I believe it's because I never saw my Father dominate or be harsh to my Mother. My Father also would not let his children speak disrespectfully. I believe it's because I live in this country and in this age where women have stood up themselves.

WHOSE OPINION IS THIS?

When you are hearing a negative voice in your head saying something disparaging about you know it's probably the Devil. He's always the first one in line with his two cents.  Know that's all his opinion is worth -- about two cents -- even less than that.  Don't listen

VOICES

There are many voices that proclaim themselves to be the truth.  Yet there is only one which is of God.  As Psalm 55 suggests some are from clamorous enemies and some seem to be friends.  How can we tell them apart?

Without God's word I don't know that it's possible to know good from bad.  We would eventually throw some voices out after experiencing their bitter fruits.  This would come at a high cost and being delayed much by the experience.  Others would never be recognized as folly.  We would continue on though life with them.

If we did not read God's word how would we know them?

Someone has to tell us what is good and what is bad.  Whose voice do you listen to?

YE ARE GODS

Joh 10:34:  Jesus answered them, Is it not written in your law, I said, Ye are gods?

“your law”  Jesus uses that phrase when he talks to the religious leaders about psalm 82.  Here it says, “is it not written in your law . . .”  They, the religious leaders, have taken God's law and have twisted it into their own law in the sense that they use it for their own ends.  Over the generations the leaders have determined that only a certain interpretation can be applied to God's word: their own interpretation, no one else's.  They have stopped understanding it according to god's sense.  Perhaps they feel they can an amend it as we would amend the U.S Constitution.

It must have taken some length of time to go by tradition from God's intended meaning of his word to man's meaning.  Perhaps some of this change was influenced by the desire to control the congregation into certain actions, certain ways of thinking.  Who knows better than those who have gone to Bible school?  Surely the trained clergy knows better.  Perhaps they feel they can an amend it as we would amend the U.S Constitution.

Step-by-step inch-by-inch, here a little and there a little.

But let me also be quick to say: he who has not read the Bible for himself is in no position to challenge one who has.  A person who has gone to Bible school most likely knows much better than he who has not even read his Bible.

IF IT'S NOT BROKEN DON'T BREAK IT

It's easy for me to be negative about work and about others' participation in it.  I think the worst of them - - that they are taking the laziest route, that they are seeking only to advance their careers, that they have motives other than they ought to have.

In truth what do I know about another's motivation unless they tell me what it is?  I end up speaking unhealthy things which do not improve the situation but rather harms it.

I should refrain from speaking harmful things, and speak helpful things.

God wants to build a fruitful world, not a broken, crippled one.  I want to help what God does, not harm it.

FAMILY TREES

Once I was diagramming family trees while waiting for Lizzie to finish at Publix.  It's amazing how complex they grow over just 3 or 4 generations into the past, or into the future.  It's like a tree: you are now, the trunk.  Below, in the past, are the roots: your parents, grand parents, etc.  Above is the future:  your children, grand children, etc.


I would like to understand how the roots grow ever bigger below into small rootlets, yet all reach back to a single couple:  Adam and Eve.  Even if you hate the idea of God and creation, it still reduces down that way:  to a single couple, or at least a very few couples.

 

IT STARTS WITH A MACHETE

Matt Dhann wrote, “What new paths for our minds do we need to blaze?”

The old roads are paved and easy to travel. To make a new road we have to hack out the brush, chop down the trees, blast out the rock, bring in the foundation gravel.  It's a long process.

But first you machete out the brush. If you keep traveling the path, the brush doesn't grow back. The more traveled the path is the more obvious the path becomes. It gets more defined when you drive jeeps and logging trucks over it.

When you've built an inn in the forest you need a more serious road, not just a track. From a dirt road it can grow to be a paved road, to a multi-lane road, to a major road, to a highway, to an Interstate. If the way becomes important enough there eventually will also be railroads and airlines.

It all starts with the knowledge there is a new way to go and the decision to pick up the machete.

START WHERE THE INFORMATION IS

I wondered today if the part of God's attention toward creation and us is not a very small part of what God pays attention to?  We think that it is all he has to do. 

But, in fact, whatever part of his "time" he spends on us is 100 % of all we have.  We have our being in him, not he in us.  How can we hope to comprehend the boundaries of God? 

We are self-important about what we say we know about the universe.  We say how big stars are and  how hot they are and what they are made of from observation of an infinitesimal speck of light passing through a man-made spectrometer.  We start with what we have been given on earth (helium gas and a prism) and presume the same rules apply uniformly thru out the universe.

Unlike the stars, which hardly give anything, God has given us the Bible.  It provides us much more information than stars. Certainly more than a few bands of light on a spectrometer.

THE SUPERNATURAL

Life as I am experiencing it has an intimate connection to the spiritual world.  Jesus said something like “As I am in the Father, so are you in me; as the Father is in me so am I in  you”  (Look at John 17 and preceding).  He was physically in the world: we could have seen, herd  him and touched him..  Yet he talked with the Father.  He said “my Father and I are one”.

So that should be true between Jesus and us today - - we are in him and he in us.  We should treat our daily living as if we are also somehow also presently in heaven.  What if a veil could be pulled back and we could see the spiritual beings about as it was done for Elisha's servant when he saw the heavenly army? (2 Kings 6:16)

How do I adopt an attitude of living my physical life and realizing, experiencing that I am at the same time living the spiritual life?

I'll bet we have been tricked into thinking that the physical is now, and the spiritual comes later.  Or we think that any spiritual event is unusual in the physical course of events.  What if the spiritual is coursing along at all times but we have made ourselves blind and unhearing toward it?  If everyone else chooses to be blind should we follow meekly along and be blind too?

What do I do to see?  What do I do to listen?

 -- Keep looking to see spiritual things
 -- Keep listening to hear spiritual things.
 -- Keep reading the Bible and rehearse the passages that support spiritual intimacies.
 -- Realize that “the Kingdom is at hand” means it is AT HAND.  It is here now.  It is a natural thing.
 -- Realize your “natural” perceptions could well have a supernatural component.
 -- Embrace your “natural” perceptions and ask God to show you what he wants you to supernaturally know.

THE OLD SELF DOUBT

For some reason the other night, I remembered the time a teacher (who I can see, but not remember the name) said to my mother that I “had a flare for writing”. I did with that statement as I have done with so many other similar affirming statements about me: I blew it off. I said to my self, “she's just saying that to flatter. She doesn't really mean it. She's saying what she wishes, not what is.”

Once I remembered that event I said “Why do I always disallow or minimize the good things that are said about me?” It is a bad habit. I ought rather to appreciate the positive things. I ought to try to own them and build on them. I ought to improve myself in that way that is spoken. I ought to believe that I am “that way” and that I can do “that”.

I am tempted to doubt, to say “What if I am not 'that'?” Well, If I'm not “that” I won't be able to do “it”.

But it is more honorable to discover “it” while being positive, trying and hoping. How can it be honorable by never starting the thing because I think “What if I'm not”? How can it be honorable never try 100% and only give 75%? 50%? 5%?

[[ Lord please help me to put away from me my disbelief in myself. Please help me to appropriate the “good works which you have before ordained that I should walk in them” Help me to recognize the “goodness and mercy which shall follow me all the days of my life.” After all, I am dwelling “in the house of the Lord forever”. How bad can the be - - rather, how excellent that is. ]]

WHAT'S GOING ON AT THE NEIGHBORS?

When an individual regards the Bible as the word of God - - and reads it - - he is forever become a different person. And those individuals are catalysts of change for everyone about them. Even those who do not regard the Bible as special are unavoidably influenced for change by those who do. You can not live alongside a group of people and not be changed by them.

Those cultures that have seriously regarded the Bible were changed at their roots by it. And as a result of that every other culture beside them were changed. Eventually the world was forever changed.

Even the ones who hold the view that there is no god have been solidly and unquestionably influenced by the book about Him - - the Bible. The influence spread from Israel to Rome to Europe and hence throughout the world. If the no-god believers were to attempt to reverse the influence the Bible has already had they would have to undo thousands of years of history, and explain why they did.

BACKSTAGE

The admirable qualities of Biblical characters are often hidden behind the words of certain Biblical passages. Nehemiah is a good example as can be seen in Nehemiah 2:

He was proven. After being brought as a slave to a foreign land he worked diligently within his new circumstances. He eventually worked his way up to being the King's cup-bearer (or wine steward, or wine servant).

He earned a high level of trust, for the wine servant had close contact to the king. The king and his security team knew Nehemiah would neither stab nor attempt to poison the king.

He was familiar and on conversational terms with the king. When he perceived Nehemiah was sad the king cared enough to be concerned -- and the king was interested in Nehemiah's welfare.

The king also realized Nehemiah was a capable leader in his own right. He knew Nehemiah could conceive, organize and guide the reconstruction of Jerusalem, so he sent him off to accomplish it.

The Bible does not state these facts directly to us, we have to imagine them through reading the story, by hearing the words and viewing the actions. There's a lot to be learned backstage.

GETTING RICHER THROUGH DEBT

I get a "quote of the day" via email; today's quote was: "Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them."

This relates directly to my previous post: Running Into Debt.  But there is one debt that is enriching and encouraging to retire, and that's our debt to appreciate and act on God's gift to us through Jesus Christ.  What we do to "retire" that debt makes us richer in character and oddly can increase our other kinds of wealth.

WE CAN DO MORE

In Nehemiah one we notice that he was the Cup Bearer to the king.  I'm not exactly sure what this position entailed but it certainly meant that he was close to, and trusted by, the king.  It must have taken years of background history for him to become established at the Cup Bearer's position. 

He was close enough that the king noticed Nehemiah was troubled and sad (chapter two).  For you, this is like President Obama personally being concerned  about you, and wanting to know why you are troubled.  It would mean you had that kind of high-flying job, which almost everyone else doesn't. 

The whole book ends up with Nehemiah going back to Israel and rebuilding the wall, making the defenseless defensible.  But he was a CUP BEARER, for crying out loud!  He had no credentials for being a General, or Governor, or Architect, or Contractor.

What this shows us is that we can do a lot more than others believe we can do, or that we ourselves think we can to.

RUNNING INTO CREDITORS

I get an email from a source that provides a "motivational quote of the day".  I absolutely disagree with Today's quote

"Running into debt isn't so bad. It's running into creditors that hurts."

If you get into debt, you put yourself there. You have creditors because you put yourself into their hands.  You borrowed because you felt you wanted something now rather than putting yourself to the discipline of working and saving for it.  It will hurt when you must put off other desirable things because now the bank is standing at the head of the pay line. What hurts worse is when you do not honestly deal with your creditors and have law enforcement guiding you to the pay line. A good man (or a good woman, for that matter) always stands behind his commitments.

It is hard to find honor in letting someone cosign for your debt, for then you are introducing risk into their lives.  You are dragging them into your pay line.  There may be cases where this is acceptable, but I'll bet more are not acceptable than are.

Very few debts are "good" debts. Paying a mortgage rather than paying rent comes close. While you are sharing some of your wealth with the bank, with the rest you are slowly gaining title to the house and land.  Car debt sometimes seems to be necessary, but many times it can be avoided (or at least greatly lessened) by buying a used vehicle - - or maybe just repairs, maintenance, or waiting and saving.  School debt is more troublesome.  Will the targeted occupation guarantee an income large enough to justify the debt?  Doctors, Engineers and Lawyers may answer yes, few others can.  Have you applied for scholarships?  Are you willing to work and pay-as-you-go?

A quote like "Avoid debt if at all possible" would be a better quote than the one above, but I guess it wouldn't be as funny.

WHAT'S NEXT

Elijah had been doing a lot of work for God and he was tired.  He was thinking he was all alone in getting it done.  In fact Jezebel was out gunning for him because he had caused the death of all her false prophets.  He told God, "I've been angry like you about all the false prophets and how your people have turned their back on you. Now I'm the only one left."  God in effect said, "Go back. I'm not finished with the work I have for you to do. You do not realize this, but there are seven thousand more like you that have never worshiped the false Gods."

We are like Elijah.  We often think there is not much more that we can do.  But it's not over; there's more to do;  there always is.  There are a few church things to do, but most are personal things and family things.  The only time we will know it's through is when we're face-to-face with Jesus in heaven; then that part of the work is done.

Be patient, the next set of tasks will become apparent soon.


(( We were reading in 1 Kings today, chapters 18 and 19. Lizzie wrote a blog too.  Here is a line to hers: .ELIJAH WAS SUCCESSFUL

LIZZIE HAS CANCER

My wife has breast cancer. A friend just wrote to her today, "My heart breaks knowing your life travel plans just got interrupted with this detour down the road of breast cancer."

Being a man, and ex military, I tend to think of things in different terms. I don't think of it as a "detour". I think of it as "new orders", or "increased responsibilities", or "greater opportunity through engagement in a tougher challenge".

A "detour" speaks of a temporary alternative road to a road which is normally better. This is not an alternative road, this is the road God has directed Lizzie (and I, and the rest of the family) to travel. We thought we were going to California, but all along on God's map the destination was Massachusetts. There is good stuff in California, but there is also good stuff in Massachusetts, perhaps better stuff, wonderful stuff.

The Bible speaks of "the peace that passes all understanding". When I had colon cancer, and now as Lizzie has breast cancer, I think we have this gift, the gift of peace. We don't feel fear, confusion, or apprehension. We know the future, although unexpected, holds good things for us. Maybe they will not be comfortable things, but they will be things through which we have the opportunity to grow. Growth is always more important than comfort and pleasure. Who wants to get to heaven and report to God, "I've had a lot of fun and pleasure, but I haven't grown much."

We will grow. And along the way we will have the fun and pleasure too

The friend who wrote above offers her valuable support. She's been there and done that. For fifteen years she has been on the road through Breast Cancer Country. She, and none around her would have chosen it, but she, and they, are the better for it. It's easy to say, tough to do, but it's still true.

WHAT TO DO ABOUT DANGEROUS PEOPLE

The Philistines sure knew about David.  They didn't want him anywhere around.  As soon as he was set up as King they set up to battle against him.  Apparently some people are influential and dangerous enough that it is worth setting up to take them out, if you can.

Hopefully, in the business world, that means getting them pushed off the CEO's chair, not actually killing them and their supporters.

WE STEP IN THE SAME MUD

Why would you follow someone else?  Why did the people follow David?  Why do people follow or belong to any group?

 -- It is something you want to do.
 -- You like that group of people.
 -- That group presents some advantages for you.
 -- You want to belong to some larger body.
 -- The group provides you some sense of importance.
 -- The group provides you safety.
 -- The group provides you direction.
 -- You do not want to be alone.

There are a dozen or so other reasons we could list.

If you admire a person as a leader you will realize that he/she demonstrates each of the above bullets personally to you:  he/she (like you) wants to do the group activity, he/she likes the group and its members, and so on.  At some point the leader gets his boots muddy with the same mud you are standing in.  From time to time he is there with you, alongside you.

The leader is not thinking, "I want to be a leader".  He/she thinks, "I have this passion I want to accomplish and I need these people and want these people to get it done."

GOING OUT AND COMING IN

David "went out and came in" before the people.  What does this mean?  Was he so prominent that people said, "There's David going away." when he left and, "There's David coming back" when he came back? How does someone get to be known before a set of people?

I don't think it just happens, I think the person has to want to be known. It could be a vein thing like the people that participate in "American Idol" -- they just want to be popular, recognized, famous. Or it could be a power thing like, "I want to be known for doing this and I want people to come to me for it." David could have said, "I want people to come to me for leadership in battle because I believe I'm better at it than almost anyone else." If that was true, he got known because he actually was better, people knew him for it.

READ, OR JUST LISTEN?

Refer to Isiah 29: 10 - 14

When we don't read God's word -- when we don't regard it as important enough to spend some time at -- God could make us dull as he has done in these Isaiah verses. When we rely too much on what men teach (v. 13 "their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men") we stupefy ourselves to what God has written to us. We find it easy to say, "we can't understand the Bible, it is a 'book that is sealed' We will not put in the effort".

Some, a few, passages are very difficult. Some we understand only after years or reading and thinking about them. Some are never more than partially understood. Some we never understand.

However, the actual number of verses in the Bible that one can not understand is very small. Almost all of them we can understand. Most all of them we can understand in English; we don't need to know Hebrew and Greek. We can understand them in Old English or New English or Slang English -- it's just not that hard.

There is one guarantee: if we don't read we will not understand. If we let someone else tell us what it means we only know that that person understands. It may be correct, or just useful, or just plain wrong.

When men go long enough not making the effort to read the Bible the wisdom and knowledge vanish. The very "wise" ones they depend on to tell them what God says -- or even to tell them what is "right" -- loose their wisdom.

BEING UP, NOT DOWN

I have been reading some old journal entries. I noticed many were about putting myself down ("I feel I am worthless") followed by attempts to uplift myself ("You are worth something, look on the brighter side ...")  I think, over the years, I am getting better at being positive.  Positive moves me forward, negative turns me backward. Positive brightens may outlook, negative dims my outlook. Positive help and improves my family, negative destroys my family.

I would like to pass this caution to my sons:  Do not waste your time by being negative about yourselves or the situations you are in.  It will not help you, it will hinder you; it will not build, it will destroy. Through negativity you not only risk yourselves, but you put your families at risk .

Being truthful and seeing life as it is good but being negative is not good. There are always two or more answers to a question; there are always several descriptions for a situation.  Travel toward the more positive answer and the brighter situation.  There is always a choice.  You must look.

GOING TO WAR

Deu 7:1-2  "When the LORD thy God shall bring thee into the land whither thou goest to possess it, and hath cast out many nations before thee, the Hittites, and the Girgashites, and the Amorites, and the Canaanites, and the Perizzites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites, seven nations greater and mightier than thou;  And when the LORD thy God shall deliver them before thee; thou shalt smite them, and utterly destroy them; thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor shew mercy unto them . . . ."

Let's view this as the nations representing our corrupt natures. They are not peoples we are to conquer, but our tendencies toward corrupt, unkind actions and words.

We do need to destroy those things. We do need to wipe them off the face of our personality. We are to war ruthlessly against ways that are not God's ways, and thoughts which are not God's thoughts.  We can leave none of them alive. They will destroy us if we do.

SELF WORTH

One thing many self-help books talk about is self-worth. We need to take account first what God thinks and says, then we need to take account of what he says about us. I propose it should be in this order:

 -- What does God want generally
 -- What does God want for mankind
 -- What does God want for me personally
 -- What is the state of my self-worth

Much of the time we think of this in reverse fashion: "How am I worthy right now, and, oh yeah, what does God think?" Or worse: "What about me and what do others thing?"

ARM CHAIRS

I've been reading "The Case For A Creator" by Lee Strobel. He shows how the Cosmologists and Astronomers make lots of statements about size, composition and distance of stars. All anyone can see of a star is a pinpoint of light. A distant star can not be resolved optically into a disk the way planets can.

From just a pinpoint of light and an armchair they make all these confident statements. "This star is this many billions of miles away and uses these nuclear processes to burn up this kind of gas." I have an armchair too; I can make confident statements.

Let us be fair. To the side of their armchairs they have advanced instrumentation to measure electromagnetic radiation and sophisticated optical devices (both on earth and in space). They have experience with nuclear processes here on earth. They have knowledge and skill with high mathematics while I need a hand-held calculator to do my checkbook.

Many times what you say from your armchair is as good or better that what the other guy is saying. But some times what the other guy is saying is better. Listen carefully before you become too proud of your armchair.

INERTIA

I have inertia and sometimes don't want to come away from my house to do things with people, or to have them come into my house. If I am alone I seem to desire to stay that way. I need to be very careful not to let this attitude over-take me.

All of us do not have much value alone, by ourselves. We need to have interaction with others: it's the only thing we leave behind. The only thing that changes and moves the world (or at least society) is the conversation, the letter, the touch, the physical presence. Of those, only the letter persists so as you can touch it.

Although -- the expression of love can persist through generations demonstrated by the attitudes and actions of those effected by it.

You can't do those things by siting in your house. I want to be known as a friendly, hopeful, knowledgeable man. But I can not do this if I do not see people. "He that will have friends must show himself friendly".

LETTER TO SONS

I wrote this letter in March and I don't know if I ever sent it, either via post or email:

Sons,

My time of actively funding and directing the course and events of your lives has long since past; as it well should. My goal as a father was to equip my sons to be fully functioning and active adults, and you all are.

One of my roles now is to encourage you without becoming intrusive or a nuisance. The greatest, most valuable piece of advice I can offer is for you to read the Bible every day. Your mother and I still read aloud to each other daily. I recommend you do the same with your wives. We find hearing God's concepts together to be very engrossing and uplifting.

However you read, individually or separately, alone or as a family, do not blindly accept what other men say the Bible means. That includes me. Know what the Bible says to you. You can not know what it says unless you read it. If the Bible truly is the word of God (which it itself says it is) it deserves more than one reading.

Do not fear that every time you see me I will be asking, "Have you been reading your Bible lately?" I will not do unto others what I would not have them do unto me. But I do talk to God about it from time to time.

I am proud of my sons and I like to be around them. And they have exceptional taste in women, they married well. I am grateful they love and provide for their children.

LEFT HAND THREADS

The handle on our toilet came off the other morning. I lifted up the lid to find the nut holding it on had come off. I screwed it back on. As I did I noticed it had a left-handed thread. They do this so that the handle won't unscrew itself every time someone flushes.

I remember my brother, David, teaching me about left-handed threads as I was watching him work on his bicycle. Bicycles use left-handed threads for the same reason toilet handles do, so the peddles won't unscrew themselves as you peddle down the road. The right-hand crank has left-handed threads on its bearing holder and peddle.

How many things we must pick up along life's path: left-handed threads, keep to the right, pass on the left (unless you are in England or a colony). We learn them, and use them, and probably pass them along to others without even realizing.

(I don't know how that handle came unscrewed when the normal effect of using the lever should be to tighten it. Is it a conspiracy? Does someone have a key and is sneaking into our house when we are away and unscrewing the toilet handle? Do they break in through the attic? Is there a Worm-Hole or Time Warp through which the aliens are moving? Is it the Evil Spirit of the Toilet Tank?)

PASS IT ALONG

We read that Moses, " took the book of the covenant, and READ IT IN THE AUDIENCE OF THE PEOPLE: and they said, All that the LORD hath said will we do, and be obedient ". (Exodus 24:7)

Once he had read the covenant it was entirely up to the choice of the people whether they would actually obey it. We know from history that they generally did not.

When it comes to our children it's the same way. Whether we read the Bible or teach any moral (or practical) lesson, they have the choice whether to obey. Other than enforcing appropriate speech and activity within our own walls (for as long as that lasts), the only act we can perform is pass the instruction along: reading the Bible, teaching, living as examples and so on.

Lizzie and I have read and taught and lived as examples to our children. And by their choice they have lived productive, loving and godly lives. I expect they (and we) will continue; because living good is so much easier and rewarding than living bad.

There is something else to draw out too. Rather than looking forward to what our children might do, let us also look back to see what we have done. Have we lived our lives well? Have we generally done what our parents would have wanted? (And I thank God here that we had good parents.) Have we earnestly striven to do and think what God wants? Can we improve?

Moses could look back at his own efforts with God and say, "I have done the best I knew to do." We, all of us, should want to be able to say that. .

THE FERRY RIDE

When my Father was alive and before I started High School, every summer our family used to travel to Westport Island, Maine, for two weeks of vacation. The island was separated from the mainland by a river (I think). We got to it by way of a cable ferry. The ferry was essentially a raft, domed in the middle. You would drive on, and if you were the first car on, you would drive up over the dome and park at the other end. The ferrymen would put blocks of wood under your tires to keep you from having a free, permanent car wash. When all loaded up and secure, The ferrymen would signal the guy at the wench station who would haul the ferry across the water to the other side.

One time the cable parted and all of us, cars, passengers and ferrymen, went floating out to sea on the tide. Nearby Lobstermen saw our distress and pulled alongside. They made fast to the ferry and pulled us to where we were going. I don't remember which side we ended up at, but we stayed there at least as long as it took to repair the cable.

I don't know how anyone else felt, but I was not afraid. Maybe I was just too young to imagine the possible consequences: lost at sea, shipwrecked, captured by pirates, food for the fishes ...

I also don't know if my parents had an ideal happy marriage. I do know I never felt insecure as if my whole world could shatter. If my parents did not have love, they had respect, dignity, honor, consistency. If it was not ideal, they stayed anyway. That is why I did not wring my hands when the ferry cable parted.

GOOD CONVERSATION

I was reading about Abraham, the biblical patriarch. He was a very rich and powerful man having direct influence over hundreds of people. This could only be because he significant management skills. But he was a man, a human, just like the rest of us. He had two legs, two arms, a nose, etc.

He was a person like you are a person, like Barack Obama is a person. As people we can speak with each other. Put any two of us in a room and we can have a conversation. One or the other of us can speak and the other can listen. We can each share alternate times of speaking and listening.

I can envision an enriching time of conversation where the person in the "superior" position does not look down on the other. And the person of the "inferior" position is not awed by the other. Each can enjoy the conversation as equal partners. There is a flaw in the relationship when either one demonstrates a weakness: either by feeling superior or being overcome with awe. After all, the other in the conversation is another person, not a god or a dog.

I enjoy having engaging conversations. I'd like to think Abraham or the President would be the sort of man who would do this.

BASEMENT ROCK

My Mother loved plants and had them all over the house. So my Father built her a greenhouse. It was attached to the back of the 66 South Street house, under the Sun Room.  There was a head-high crawl space under the Sun Room which had a door to the outside. He built the greenhouse just outside, and surrounding, this outside door.

The crawl space's other walls were the foundation walls upholding the main house. There was no door from the crawlspace into the cellar. This was not handy because there was no inside path from the house to the greenhouse. So my Father decided to punch a door opening in the cellar wall. To say the word "punch" is much easier than the task he set for himself for the walls were composed of heavy boulders dragged down from the North by the Pleistocene glaciers.

I helped my Father on this task. Very patiently he used a couple of large pry bars, assorted pieces of scrap lumber, and short lengths of pipe to extract a large boulder from the wall (3'x3'x3'), roll it through the cellar and out the back cellar door, out of the back yard to the street, around to the front of the house (uphill), to the front door of the house, turn it and place it just right so that a flat surface of the boulder made a tread of one of the front steps. He then used other rubble from the cellar-to-crawl space opening to construct the other steps.

He was not afraid to do things he had never done before. He did not back off a job because he did not have training or previous experience for the task. He made do with what was available for the work. He thought about what had to be done, and then he did it. From watching him I knew I could do this too. I guess I thought all men are supposed to be this way.

If you have the time and resources there is probably no job too hard for you. Maybe you already have the resources.

PLAY TIME

Look beyond what's now

Tuesday night as Mom and I were leaving the church small group to go home I looked up and saw a newish moon lighting some moving clouds. I said, "Oh look, Lizzie, see the moon." The others had come outside too and were and were talking among themselves as we all had been doing for the preceding two hours. The moon drew me away; I went to another place or state than the present scene.

Although it's certainly not a good practice to be mentally absent from those around you too often, it is beneficial from time to time. It will make a wider playing field for your mind and make the experience of you life richer.

As you go about your business observe, notice. Think of the attributes of what you're seeing; how does it relate to other things? How does it relate to People, governments, your family? Does it have important eternal meaning, or is it just curious? This will feed your arsenal of topics for discussion. Bring it into your life: talk with others about it, discuss it, ask questions about it.

For me this is entertaining, it's amusing. It's, well, playing. I like playing. Playing is better than work (or worse, doing nothing). It's really good if work is play.

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU DO, IT'S WHO YOU DO

No matter what you do or what you have, it will all pass away. The things you have eventually will go into anothers ownership; they will disintegrate into dust or be dissolved into some fluid. The job you do will be done by someone else who will do it differently.

People are the only thing that last: influence and ideas pass from generation to generation. They pass from culture to culture.

A man has influence if he is among other people either physically or remotely by phone or other ways (writing, internet, letters). If I do not seek the opportunities to influence I can not waste my time regretting that I have no influence. If I do not try to make myself of consequence then I will be of no consequence.

If I look in the mirror I should smile at myself because I am the only one who is going to get it done -- and I can make me do it. All the value that I am is right there.

I am a very valuable man; Jesus thought so -- thinks so. So do not waste the value.

Small dreams bring small results, big dreams bring big results, no dreams bring no results.

Go thou, influence!

THE EMBRACE OF GOD

[Originally from MotorcycleMoment Blog].  I was sitting in church Sunday and heard one of those songs using the phrase the "embrace of God". I can not identify with the "embrace of God". I suppose it's because my father never embraced me. No men I knew in my childhood embraced. It was not a "manly" thing to do.

I don't remember my Father ever touching me in any way except to spank me when I deserved it. (And I'm sure I did deserve it.) I never got spanked much; I don't really remember a specific instance of it. I just know it happened once and a while. Never a pat on the shoulder or a poke in the ribs.

So, the "embrace of God" means nothing to me.

I treated my boys differently because I heard from somewhere that Fathers were supposed to show physical affection to their children. These days it is "old fashioned" for men not to show affection. So I showed it to my boys.

It was easy when they were young. Yet when my sons grew into their teens my childhood experience tried to kick in: "real men don't hug". But I fought it and hugged my boys anyway. Today we hug. It's the manly sort of hug: throw your shoulder into the other guy and put an arm around the back. A few pats don't hurt.

I wonder if my sons understand "the embrace of God"?

THE BALD HEADED PARROT

Before I went to elementary school I wanted to hang out with the big boys. My brothers and the neighbor kids used to sit on the stonewall in the yard next to us. I was not really welcome. As I was listening to them one day they told this joke about a one-legged, one-eyed parrot who lived on a farm and liked to f--- the chickens (yes, they used that word). I did not understand the joke but all the rest seemed to like it. They told me to leave. I went back to the house where my Aunt Janice was visiting with my Mother. Since the joke was supposed to be funny I thought they would enjoy it, so I told it to them. In my youthful way I stumbled along until I got the part where I told them what the parrot liked to do with the chickens. I noticed grey expressions moving accords their faces. I couldn't finish the joke for they stopped me and told me to go outside and tell my brothers to come in. I did not understand why, but I knew it was not going to be good.

BEING BORN

I was born in Simms hospital in Arlington, Massachusetts on August 4th, 1944. My mother says I was a twin, but the twin did not survive. (I've always wondered if my parents could not afford me so the other one was given up for adoption). I have a birth mark which may be related to the twin in that we were somehow connected together..

I can remember drinking from a baby bottle and watching the bubbles march like solders up to the top of the bottle. I can remember netting over the crib rails, mosquito netting, I suppose. I remember some sort of toy mobile hanging above me. I remember a blanket spring clamp made to look like a duck. If you could manage to squeeze it hard enough to get the jaws open. It really hurt if you caught your finger in it.

World War II was still going on then, but of course I remember nothing about it. My Father did not participate in the military because he worked on the railroad (Boston and Maine), and railroad men were exempt from military service. The railroads were vital to the national security and to the war effort. My brothers were too young. My Mother's brother (Uncle Eddie [Hoxie]) served in the Coast Guard. Since that time there has been other wars (although they were not called that): Korean, Vietnam, Guatemala, Iraq, and probably others I am not remembering.

TRAINS

I loved to go down the street to the train depot. It was down South Street at the bottom of the hill form where we lived. (I lived in 65 South Street, Bedford, MA, and later in 66.) At the station a single track came in from Lexington. It split and one track went past the baseball field to Billerica, and the other went to Concord. I loved the steel rails and the ties and the smell of creosote, specially on a hot summer's day. Every once and a while a tie would have a nail hammered into it with a number cast into it's top. I always wanted to (but never did) pull one out and keep it for myself. In the early days (at least my early days) three passenger trains came out from Boston in the evening. They would stay the evening at Bedford and go back to Boston in the morning. They were pulled by steam engines, 4-6-2s as I recall. When they came out, and after the passengers got off, the engines would pull up to the water tower, the fireman would get on top of the tender, open the lid to the tender's water tank, lower the big spout from the water tower, and fill the tender with water. Then the train would pull forward across South street beside the lumber company, uncouple the passenger cars, pull up to the "Wye", Back up to the engine house where they stayed the night.

My Father worked on the railroad. He was a Fireman. In the old days he would actually shovel coal from the tender into the firebox. It was very hard work going up the side of a mountain when they had to generate a lot of steam.

That's why I have always loved the railroad and admire big, heavy moving things. Large works of mankind are fascinating..

I would have built a model train set up but I lacked the discipline to carry it through. I acquired the model trains and built some model buildings, cut some plywood, but never finished.

My Father told me two things: "Never work for the railroad." and "Never join the armed forces." He never explained the reasoning. I didn't work for the railroad, but I did join the navy. Just this moment I realize part of the reason: big heavy moving things and large works of mankind.

Love --PapaJ

STARTING AGAIN

I am today trying to figure out the various blogs I have made. I have lost control of the personal stuff. At one time I wanted to move all my stuff to the WordPress software, but now I can't make head-nor-tails of it. I must have lost some key file somewhere.

Well, I've spent too much time trying to find and fix WordPress. The only one I'll keep it on is Submission Is Not Silence (submissionisnotsilence.com). I'll use blogspot from now on trusting that Google will not fail.

My ultimate goal is to provide my thoughts to my boys, as deep or as shallow as they may be. I never knew that my father thought. I would have liked to. So, I will do that here.

I know I put stuff up here before and the other blog, MotorcycleMoment. As I find the old blogs I may re-post them to keep them in one container. (That is, IF I can find them).

-- Love, PapaJ

TIRED OF THE PICTURE

I'm tired of looking at the picture I posted below, so I'm deleting it.

HEREITIS

The head and the attachments:

[[[ The picture is (thankfully) gone ]]]

YA GOTTA ASK

I'm out of the hospital as of yesterday.  The success rate:  1 or 0 depending on how you look at it.

0.  There was no success.  There was no evidence of seizure activity.  Is this not good because we still know nothing?

1.  There was success.  There was no evidence of seizure activity.  Is this good because there seems to be nothing wrong? 

We've got pictures on the camera.  It's me with all the wires attached.  I'll post one or two here.  BUT you've gotta ask.  I will not post them, or show them to anybody unless you ask.  The ONLY way you can ask is to post a comment here.  No comment, no picture.

Just to be nice to me (and because you love me and think I'm an all around good sorta guy) you could also post a comment on MotorcycleMoment AND on SubmissionIsNotSilence. 

You can see the pictures if you only post here, but I'll wonder if you really love me if you don't comment on the other two blogs too.  Maybe you don't think I'm good, maybe you think I'm bad.

This is known as bribery AKA extortion.

PapaJ

SITTING IN THE ROOM

Still no seizure activity, an I still don't know if that's good or bad.  Sitting all day wears you out.  I suppose I could walk to the end of my chain and back, but I'm too lazy.

NO SEIZURES - DAY ONE

The Neurologist was by today.  There was no evidence of seizures up to this point.

GLUED HEAD

Well, I't in the hospital today.  I'm here for a several-day EEG to see if I have any siezure acivity.  It took the technician two hours to glue the electrodes to my head.  During all this time I will be under surveilance by CCTV (except when I go to the head.)  I'm not sure whether I want them to find anything, or not.  If they do then it means I have seizure activity which can explain some of the memory loss events.  It also means there is yet something else wrong with me.  If they don't find anything what do the memory loss events mean?  Should I just stop all this medical investigation and live with it?  What does "live with it" mean?

PapaJ

MOTORCYCLE MOMENT ON MOTORCYCLE MOMENT

Now the blog posted earlier below, "Motorcycle Moment" is posted on the blog, "Motorcycle Moment", by the title of "Motorcycle Moment". You will notice this duplicates the original title of "Motorcycle Moment". You can find this new entry at the "Motorcycle Moment" blog by going to http://www.motorcyclemoment.blogspot.com and look for the most recent post titled "Motorcycle Moment". Did I mention it has the same title as a post I put here earlier also titles "Motorcycle Moment"?

MOTORCYCLE MOMENT: THE BLOG

Now I've also established the MotorcycleMoment blog

MOTORCYCLE MOMENT

This blog is primarily to post something.  I have chosen the blog I wrote titled "Motorcycle Moment".  I wrote this possibly for Lizzie's blog .  Her blog is located at http://www.s-is-not-s.blogspot.com.

I'm also thinking about a blog to address "manly" things.  This blog could be  a post for that.  What do you think?

THE MOTORCYCLE MOMENT

Every married man has what I call a "Motorcycle Moment". This is the instant he realizes he must let go of a daydream, a wispy hope that has been wandering through his mind for a time. It may actually be of a motorcycle. See him astride a few hundred horsepower, in the sunny breeze, basking in the admiration of those who see him (and hear him) pass by. See him at the stop light thundering his presence. See the black shirt, dingy jeans, tinny useless helmet.

The dream does not have to be about a motorcycle, it could have been about the boat, about climbing Mount Everest, about the hunting lodge. Whatever the dream, it comes against The Realization. He realizes that to acquire the dream he must trade for it by somehow separating himself from his family. To have the dream he must take to himself alone something financial, something physical, something emotional or something mental.

Then he realizes he has responsibilities, obligations, and duties. Will it be the motorcycle or the house payment, a night with the boys or a date with the wife, planning the trip or a bedtime story? He has to make some decisions. Is his money really all his money? Does every minute of his time belong to him? Are all his thoughts entirely private?

Submission, then, is not just something for the woman to worry about; it pervades the life of a man too. The quality of what a man is can be seen in his submission. What does he submit to? When balancing the idea of a motorcycle what is on the other side of the scale, and what has the heaviest weight? What does he give up, or submit to, to make a better life for his family?

What has been your motorcycle moment? Did it hurt? What did you gain instead of the motorcycle? Do you really have to give up the motorcycle?